Starting your periods is 1 of life’s milestones, and preparing your daughter for her first period will help make it a positive experience.
Starting your periods is 1 of life’s milestones, and preparing your daughter for her first period will help make it a positive experience.
You can do this by making sure she has all the facts about how her body is changing, as well as the practical information she needs to manage day-to-day life with periods. Some well-shared information and reassurance will make all the difference when it comes to building her confidence.
Periods usually start at about 12 or 13 years old, but it varies. Some girls get them when they’re as young as 8. So it’s a good idea to talk to your daughter sooner rather than later, in case she’s an early starter.
Read on to find out everything you need to cover to give your daughter the best possible start on her journey into womanhood.
First, why not refresh your own knowledge by reading our
Making yourself the number-1 source of information about periods means your daughter won’t have to rely on information from less suitable sources.Research by the World Health Organisation (WHO) shows that access to good, reliable information and support can help make managing periods easier, healthier and safer for young girls.
Now, on to ‘the talk’! Instead of having 1 big discussion about periods, you could start by introducing the topic casually into conversations. By drip-feeding information, you’ll build your daughter’s knowledge up over time. This method can also be less intimidating.
Keep discussions ‘light’, and try using humour to help ease any embarrassment.
Look out for opportunities and choose your moment. For example, you could start a conversation about periods when an advert for tampons comes on TV, or when you’re buying some at the supermarket for your own period.
The aim is to get away from any ideas about periods being scary or embarrassing, and to reassure her that starting her period is something to celebrate, rather than fear.
Everything she needs to know to allow her to manage her periods and – in the not-too-distant future – birth control and sex as well. She will need to know how all the pieces of the puzzle fit together.
Find more useful information on periods with our
Here’s a quick list to ensure you have everything covered:
● the basics: explain ovulation and the hormone changes that trigger periods, how often you get periods, and how they continue until you go through the
Finding it tricky to chat about periods? Try some of these handy phrases for talking about periods with your daughter – and be aware of our list of some things that are best left unsaid.
Scenario 1 – finding out how much she already knows about periods:
Scenario 2 – if she’s struggling with cramps or other period symptoms:
Scenario 3 – making sure she has everything she needs:
Scenario 4 – taking her mind off having a period:
Scenario 5 – if she’s anxious about going to school:
Scenario 6 – dealing with leaks:
What NOT to say:
Periods shouldn’t only be a ‘girl thing’. Boys need to learn about the physical and emotional side of periods, too. This helps avoid those unhelpful remarks about women being grumpy or irritable because it’s “that time of the month”.
Brothers, husbands and partners all have a role to play in providing a supportive environment for your daughter.
Talk to your son in a similar way to your daughter about the practicalities of periods, and mention mood changes. You can explain what period pads and tampons are when you’re shopping.
Boys should be able to talk openly and sensibly about periods. They should be able to understand how periods can affect their sister, girlfriend or mum. They should also know about the link between periods and pregnancy.
Wondering what questions your daughter might ask? You can use these Q&As to fill in her knowledge gaps. (Check our
for even more information.)Just as girls’ bodies develop at different rates, so does the age at which their periods start. Some girls show signs of
– such as breast development and pubic hair – earlier than others.Typically, girls start their periods when they’re around 12 years old, but everyone is different. Some get their periods when they’re only 8, while others get them as late as 15 or 16.
When you get your first period can be affected by lots of things, including:
Encourage your daughter to speak to a doctor or someone at your local women’s health clinic if she has any concerns.
She should also see a doctor if her periods haven’t started by the time she’s 15. This can help to check for any underlying causes of
.If you have pubic and underarm hair, and your breasts have started to grow, then there’s a good chance that your periods are on their way.
Usually, periods start from 2 to 2.5 years after your breasts start to develop, but everyone is different.
Some girls also get a white fluid or discharge from their vagina in the year before their periods start.
Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is the name given to the signs and symptoms some people get in the time leading up to each period.
Symptoms of PMS can include:
● spots (
) breaking out or getting worseLots of women get period pain (or cramps) just before or during their period, but not everyone is affected. It can also vary in intensity.
Most women manage period pain through self-care and painkillers from the pharmacy. You don’t have to suffer in silence.
If you want to explore other ways to manage period pain, speak to your doctor. There are other things they can suggest, including hormonal contraception – which teenagers can use safely. If your pain is very bad, they can also check to see if there’s an underlying cause.
Read more about ways to manage period pain.
Your body may take time to get into a regular pattern every month. During your first few periods, you may get only a little blood, for 1 or 2 days only.
As a general rule, women have a period every 28 days, but it differs from person to person. You’ll usually bleed for between 3 and 7 days every month, but again, everyone is different.
Some women have longer or shorter cycles. You might have a period every 21 days or every 35 days. Both are normal – as is anything within this range. (Read about the signs of
.)As the months pass, you’ll come to know your body and what a ’normal’ period is for you. You’ll start to learn what to expect in terms of:
This knowledge will also help you to choose period products that work for you.
Use whatever system works for you! You can mark your period in your diary, or use a fitness app, your phone or a laptop calendar.
To estimate when your next period is due, you can count 28 days from the first day of your period. You may get shorter or longer cycles as your body settles into your ‘normal’ routine.
If you also track your symptoms each month, this can help you figure out how soon after your first cramps or your first craving your period will start. You can also keep a note of how many days you bleed for.
All this information can help you to get into a routine, and to plan your life.
There are various apps available to help track periods – including the
, where you can set up a custom tracker and add notes for your period.While it can seem like a lot of blood, the average blood loss is only 8 to 11 teaspoons over a whole period – and most women will lose less than 16 teaspoons.
Despite what you may have heard, the blood doesn’t gush out like a river. You might notice blood on the toilet paper after you pee, in your underwear or on your bed sheets. But it’s highly unlikely to be running down your legs during your first period.
It’s a good idea to be prepared before your periods start, so buy some period pads or period pants in advance.
Pack a spare pair of underwear and a pad in your school bag, and in your rucksack when you stay over with friends. It’ll ease any worry and ensure you’re prepared when your first period comes.
But if your period starts and you don’t have any period protection, don’t worry! Ask a friend, a friend’s parent, or a female teacher. There’s always someone who will have a spare pad, and most people will be only too happy to help.
If needed, you can make a temporary pad by folding several layers of toilet paper and placing them in your pants until you get home (or to a shop or pharmacy).
That’s up to you. At first, you may find pads easier. But after a while, you may find other types of period products more convenient and better for different occasions – such as at night or when you’re playing sport – or for different levels of flow.
Tampons or menstrual cups that you insert into your vagina can be good for swimming or sport. As are all-in-one period pants – which are available in waterproof versions for swimming.
It may take a while to work out what suits your lifestyle and makes you feel most comfortable. There are no rules for period products – and you can mix and match. For example, you could use a tampon for swimming or during the day, then a pad at night. It’s up to you.
Read more about
.While a tampon can’t get ‘lost’ inside you – it can’t travel beyond your vagina – it’s possible for it to go higher up in your vagina, meaning you can’t pull it out. This can happen if you put a second tampon in by mistake, or if the string you usually pull to remove it doesn’t unfold when you insert it.
If this happens to you, don’t panic. It’s usually simple to remove it yourself by following these steps:
If you still can’t get your tampon out after this, go to your doctor or a sexual health clinic, so they can remove it for you.
It’s important to change your tampon regularly – at least every 4 to 8 hours. This can help to prevent a rare but serious condition called
.Read more
.Don’t worry – accidents like this happen to everyone from time to time. You may feel self-conscious or embarrassed, but you can usually deal with it:
No! Only you – and anyone you choose to tell – will know. You may worry about other people being able to ‘smell’ your period, but that’s unlikely.
If you haven’t changed your pad for a few hours (or if you’ve had a leak), you may get a faint smell of blood. But it’s easily fixed by changing your pad or underwear, and washing morning and night during your period.
Read more about
.There’s nothing to stop you doing everything you usually do. Tampons, menstrual cups and waterproof period pants are the go-to items for swimming, and they’re also the most discreet choice for playing sport. Pads can also work for non-pool activities.
With a bit of experimenting, you’ll work out what’s most comfortable and practical for you.
Yes, you can. It’s possible to get pregnant at any time of the month, if sperm comes into contact with your vagina. (Read more about
.)You should use
to prevent pregnancy, and use a to protect against .If your daughter’s periods haven't started and she’s 15, ask your doctor for a check-up.
The same applies if she’s 13 and doesn’t have any signs of puberty – such as hair on her underarms or genitals, or breast development.
If your daughter is using tampons, make sure she’s aware of the
, and how to . She should know how to access emergency care if she develops symptoms, too.You should also discuss other things that might mean she needs help from a doctor, including if:
● her periods stop suddenly or she starts ‘missing’ periods
● she starts bleeding more heavily, passing clots bigger than 2.5cm, needs to change pads more often than every 1 to 2 hours, or bleeds for longer than 7 days
● she bleeds when she’s not on her period
● her period pain is severe or she gets period pain when she’s not on her period
If you’re worried about your daughter’s period symptoms, use our
to help you work out what to do next.Important: Our website provides useful information but is not a substitute for medical advice. You should always seek the advice of your doctor when making decisions about your health.