If you’ve had an abortion, you may be wondering about your sex life and future pregnancies. How long you should wait before having sex again? Will it feel painful? When will it feel right emotionally?
If you’ve had an abortion, you may be wondering about your sex life and future pregnancies. How long you should wait before having sex again? Will it feel painful? When will it feel right emotionally?
“You might be asking yourself if you will get your sex drive back, how to talk to your partner about getting intimate again, or worrying about getting an infection or getting pregnant again. There’s a lot to deal with physically and psychologically,” says doctor and Healthily expert, Dr Adiele Hoffman. “On the practical side, you might be thinking about what sort of contraception you should use. It’s all about working out what’s right for you.”
Here’s how to navigate sex after an abortion so it feels right for you, including your
if you don’t want to get pregnant again.Find more useful information on abortion care with our .
After an abortion is complete, you can usually have sex as soon as you feel ready. But here are the things that might affect how long that takes for you.
You can get pregnant almost straight away after an abortion so you need to think about what you want next.
If you are hoping to get pregnant soon after an abortion – for example, if you had a termination for medical reasons or because the situation wasn’t right, but things have changed or your feelings have changed, it can feel emotionally tough. Read our pregnancy after abortion feature about what to consider and how to navigate your emotions. Abortion doesn’t usually affect fertility but read our main article to find out more.
If you don’t want to get pregnant after your termination, to stop that happening you should use
. Don’t be fooled by a lack of periods – your periods should start again within 4-8 weeks after an abortion but you will release an egg () as part of your cycle around 2 weeks before your period appears. It’s hard to predict exactly when this will happen, and sperm can survive inside you for up to 5 days, so don’t take any chances.Most clinics are also able to start contraception on the day of your abortion. So make sure you find out about the different types and choose the one that’s right for you.
Talk to your doctor or nurse about the best form of contraception for you after an abortion. The best method for you will depend on your preferences, medical history and if you’ve had any complications from the abortion such as an infection.
If you have a medical abortion, an IUD (intrauterine device) or IUS (intrauterine system) can be inserted as soon as your abortion is complete and you’re no longer pregnant.
If you don’t have any medical risks, you can use any contraception type straight away and you’ll be protected from pregnancy immediately.
If you start hormonal contraception more than 5 days after your treatment, you should use another form of contraception – such as condoms – as back up or avoid sex for a certain amount of time. The time it will take for your contraception to kick in varies depending on the type of hormonal contraception – check this with your doctor. Read more about
.If you’ve had an early medical abortion (abortion pills), you can have the
or injection as soon as you’ve taken the first pill. But this may mean you have a slightly higher risk of the abortion not working.You can use emergency contraception (such as the emergency pill or an emergency IUD) from 5 days after an abortion, as long as you didn’t have any complications from the abortion.
If you had complications and have sex without contraception or think your contraception might not have worked, you should talk to your doctor.
You don’t need emergency contraception if it’s been less than 5 days since the abortion.
A life event such as abortion could well have an impact on your relationship but how it affects you as a couple will depend on:
One study of 92 women in stable relationships who had abortions for social reasons found the rate of splitting up was no different to couples who had not had abortions.
If your reason for an abortion was that you couldn’t see a future with your partner and this is unlikely to change, you may well split up. But if it’s a question of bad timing or financial pressures, you may plan another pregnancy in the future when the time is right for you both.
There are lots of reasons people have an abortion, and in some cases, it could even bring your closer together. If you’ve both had to support each other, you might even find you feel more bonded. However, if you are worried about the impact of an abortion on your relationship, you could consider relationship counselling.
After all that’s happened to you, sex may be the last thing on your mind for a while, but this is usually just short term.
One study of 211 women published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved women who’d had medical abortions (abortion pills) and those who’d had surgical abortions, in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. The women were asked questions about their sexual desire and satisfaction after abortion. –
The researchers found that 1 in 4 women who’d had a surgical abortion said they had not had sex 4 weeks after the abortion compared to 1 in 20 women who’d had a medical abortion. After 6 months, only 3.3% of the women who’d had surgical abortion had still not had sex and none of the medical abortion group hadn’t had sex.
anxiety about getting pregnant again
how to deal with it: Get advice from your doctor or sexual health clinic about the
painful sex
how to deal with it: Pain during sex after an abortion isn’t something to ignore. Speak to your doctor in case you have developed scarring or an infection. Read our articles on
you’ve lost your sex drive
How to deal with it: If you’re just not interested in sex and it’s been a while, talk to your partner about how you are feeling. It may be a good idea to see a counsellor to talk through your
Men can feel that they have few rights when it comes to a decision about their partner’s pregnancy because there is no legal provision for them to be involved in the decision. But if they’ve had the chance to express how they feel and talk it through with you, they may feel you arrived at the decision together.
If you’ve had an abortion when your partner didn’t want you to, or you didn’t tell him about it, this can be an ongoing issue – it may be best to go for counselling to work through the issues rather than ignore them. Sometimes you may not be able to get past these differences and decide to separate.
If your abortion was because continuing the pregnancy posed a health risk to you or your baby had a fetal abnormality, that may be difficult for you both to deal with. Terminating the pregnancy was most likely a very difficult decision and you may worry about it happening again. If this is the case, you and your partner might want to go for counseling together to talk through your feelings.
If you have any worries or concerns about sex after abortion, see your doctor or ask your abortion provider for advice.
Common reasons why you might want to see a doctor for medical advice about sex after abortion include:
Important: Our website provides useful information but is not a substitute for medical advice. You should always seek the advice of your doctor when making decisions about your health.